Thursday, July 30, 2009

Celebratory Headgear

"Wow. That hat is funny! You're so crazy and original! Wanna have sex in the men's room?"

How many times has this phrase been uttered? In the entire history of the universe? Exactly less than fucking never.

Wearing headgear to let everyone in a 10-mile radius know that you are out on the town and having a crazy time screams, "I am an insecure, self-loathing twatsquatch! Look at me, Please! Notice me!"

Like we have a fucking choice.

And drawing attention to your head doesn't mean we don't notice that you're fat, ugly, sad and/or alone in the world. Just that you're all this and pathetically lacking every single rudimentary skill needed for any type of life or simple social interaction.

I don't care if it's a holiday, your best friend's bachelorette party, or just good-old-fashioned alcohol induced doucherry, you're still a loser. Man, woman, tranny... doesn't matter.

All those people are laughing at you. Not with you.

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