"Why am I such a misfit?"
It's your shoes asswipe.
Really? You paid actual money for these to complete your work-at-the-mall-in-green-tights-in-December persona? You could have taped a hand-scrawled "I am a douche bag" sign on your back and achieved the same result.
When you're out tonight sipping an Appletini and toasting your manliness with skittle vodka shots, realize that the laughter you hear is directed at you.
You are not Fonzie. You are not even a drop of sweat on Fonzie's pubic hair. Lose the pointy shoes and slip back into your work loafers. At least the tassels prove you're a corporate douche who gets a paycheck. These prove only that you're a fucktard even in your spare time - because that's who you really are.
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